Controllers and complainers are often the same people. Sometimes complaining is the controller*s means of getting control. Controllers are obviously not pleased with God*s control and try to be in control themselves. Controllers and complainers are the unhappiest people I know. It is obvious that complainers are unhappy but the fact that controllers are unhappy is a little harder to perceive. It is only obvious when they don*t get what they want. By the way, I am at my unhappiest when I try to control others and when I complain. At least one of the fruits of the Spirit, joy, is absent at those times.James 4:7: Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
When we submit ourselves to God, we submit ourselves to His control. Then Satan, the would-be controller flees. God should control you and me, and if we are under His control, we will try to influence others to submit to His control, and not our own. Everyone has a free will. Controllers try to take that away. But even God does not do that. There is a great difference between influencing people and controlling them and there is a great difference between leading them and controlling them. God wants to lead people and influence them by His love.2 Corinthians 5:14a: For the love of Christ constraineth us; . . . Job 32:18: For I am full of matter, the spirit within me constraineth me.
John 14:15: If ye love me, keep my commandments.
Controllers need the self-control that Jesus can give them when He is living in their hearts. Human controllers do not love the ones they try to control. They love themselves. They are proud. There is only one person I should try to control, and that person is myself. And I will only be able to control myself properly by the influence of the love of the Lord Jesus.Romans 5:17: For if by one man*s offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ.)
Believing that we should control others causes US much unnecessary unhappiness. We will never be able to control all of the people in our lives or all of the circumstances of our lives. Therefore, the more people and circumstances of our lives we believe we should control, the more often we will be disappointed. And the more often we are disappointed, the more often we will think we should complain about something, and the more often someone or something will make us unhappy.
Individuals who try to control others are already out of God*s will and their only influence upon others would be to lead them out of God*s will too. Controllers do not want to be controlled by God or influenced by His people. I don*t want to be a controller, I want to be an influencer. I want to be controlled by God and under the influence of Godly people.